Saying No Is Okay
A part of the journey to finding your life purpose is becoming comfortable with making decisions and sticking to them.
One thing I know a lot of us may struggle with is the decision to say no. We are not incapable of saying no, but we often feel guilt from saying no.
Understanding Your Boundaries and Limits
In most cases, we know when we have too much going on, and we know we cannot handle adding another thing to the list, but we keep adding items.
We do this because we do not like to admit we have limits. Conceding that boundaries exist is the first step to being able to say NO confidently and without guilt.
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Yes, we all want to help our family and friends when they need it, but we have to help ourselves first.
Knowing your limits and boundaries makes it easier to say NO because you are fully aware of what you can and cannot handle.
As I always say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Being aware of your limits keeps you from taking on too much.
Here Are 4 Ways to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
I Would Love to Help, But I Am Overwhelmed.
Here is the thing if you have felt like you are overwhelmed, then you are. Never be afraid to tell someone you have a lot going on and cannot add anything else to your plate.
Once you explain that you would love to help but cannot because you are overwhelmed, people should understand. Sometimes people forget that others are human and need a gentle reminder.
People will respect you far more th0an then agreeing to help them, and you never get around to helping them.
I want us to stop going through life trying to please everyone else and make sure we take care of ourselves.
I’m Not The Best Person Who Can Help With That. Here’s Who Can.
Be honest if you know you are not the best person to help with the task. Yes, I know we all believe we are the best at everything, but the truth is we are not.
If you are aware of someone better at a task than yourself, do not be afraid to let the person asking for help know.
This option gives you a way out without leaving the other person in a lurch.
This option becomes a win-win for everyone involved. You are not taking on a task you most likely do not want to do, the person asking for help is still getting the help just through other methods, and you are allowing someone to help.
Offering other people to help is not only a way to not overwhelm yourself but also expand your network.
I'm In The Middle of Doing Something. Can I Help You Later, or Could Someone Else Help You?
Acknowledge that you have something else on your plate to do. Instead of saying you cannot help, offer to help when you finish your current task or suggest someone else who is available at the time.
While we like to think that multi-tasking is a good thing and we are good at it, the truth is we are not, and something always suffers from multi-tasking.
This way gives the person the option to wait, take help from someone else, or do neither.
Let's get better at completing a task before starting a new one.
Yes, I Can Help You. But It Will Have To Wait Until Later. Is That okay?
This way is similar to the last method. Instead of offering another option, you leave it up to the person to wait.
If the person chooses not to wait for you, there is no reason to feel guilty. This way, you leave the decision up to them and alleviate some of the pressure on you.
This gem is a bonus for everyone. NO is a sentence.
No matter what someone asks of you, if you do not feel like doing it, say no.
You do not need to explain anything, but you should make sure you say NO without an attitude.
If you find someone keeps asking you after you have said no, inform them that they do not respect you and your boundaries.
Sometimes people will continue asking in hopes that you will break down and change your mind. We are no longer allowing that. If someone cannot respect you for your decision, is that a person you want in your life.
As you know, a part of the life purpose is finding yourself, your strength, and living in your truth. So it is better to weed out those who do not respect you now instead of later.
Here is the thing about guilt. No one is capable of making us feel shame. Yes, that includes our mothers.
We are responsible for what we feel, and if we feel guilty because we are no able to help someone when they ask, there is a much bigger issue that needs handling.
Our first responsibility is to ourselves. Once we have assured that responsibilities are taken care of can, we help others.
Become okay with saying NO to people and not feeling guilty.