How to Reignite Your Spark and Feel Like Yourself Again
Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, “Everything looks fine… so why do I feel so off?”
You’re doing what you’re supposed to. You’re showing up, checking the boxes, caring for your people. But inside? You feel flat. Numb. Disconnected from the version of you who used to laugh easily, move confidently, and actually enjoy her life.
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This isn’t just burnout. It’s not just being tired. It’s something deeper: disconnection from your authentic self.
And the good news? That spark you miss—it’s not gone. It’s just buried. And you can get it back.
The Subtle Signs You’ve Lost Your Spark
Losing yourself rarely looks like a dramatic collapse. It’s usually subtle. You may find yourself:
Snapping at small things
Feeling emotionally flat, even in joyful moments
Overwhelmed by quiet or solitude
Fantasizing about disappearing just to breathe
According to the American Psychological Association, emotional suppression over time leads to emotional blunting—your brain literally dulls your experience of life to protect you from overload. But in doing so, it cuts off joy too.
If you’ve been feeling stuck between work, family, and your personal dreams, check out my post on how to balance career success and family life without burning out. It’ll help you see how practical shifts can free up space for your spark to breathe.
What It Actually Feels Like to Be Lit Up
Being “lit up” isn’t about being bubbly or busy. It’s about alignment.
When you’re lit up, you:
Feel clarity in your body
Say no without guilt and yes without doubt
Move with energy that feels clean, not forced
Smile because something inside you is alive—not because it’s expected
One small moment reminded me of that version of myself: I was dancing in my kitchen one night, alone, music playing, and I caught my reflection. For the first time in a long time, I smiled and thought, “There you are.”
That’s what we’re returning to.
Why Women Disconnect From Themselves
For many women, the disconnection starts in service. We become mothers, leaders, nurturers, caregivers. We get celebrated for being dependable—but rarely asked, “Who are you outside of your roles?”
This phenomenon is called role engulfment, and it slowly erodes our sense of self. The more you pour out, the less you hear your own voice—until one day, you realize you’ve forgotten what you even like.
The Role of the Nervous System in Emotional Numbness
Here’s something crucial: You can’t feel lit up when your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.
When your body is constantly stressed, it:
Shuts down joy and connection
Replaces clarity with confusion
Keeps you “on edge” even when nothing is wrong
According to polyvagal theory, when your body doesn’t feel safe, your brain won’t allow you to access presence, play, or purpose.
That’s why healing isn’t just mental—it’s somatic. You have to feel safe in your body again before you can feel like yourself again.
How to Reignite Your Inner Spark (Without Burning It All Down)
Good news: You don’t have to blow up your life to feel alive again. You just need to stop betraying yourself in small, daily ways.
Try this:
Create a “Spark List” of things that make you feel like YOU
Reclaim your mornings or evenings—just 15–30 minutes
Do one thing each week that’s just for your joy
Say no to what drains you, even if it’s “nice”
One of my first shifts? Reclaiming my mornings. No phone. No expectations. Just silence, tea, and me. It didn’t look dramatic, but it felt like liberation.
If you want a deeper dive into this, read my guide on how to rediscover your true purpose when you feel lost. You’ll see how purpose and spark are twins—you can’t have one without the other.
One Small Step to Return to You
If you’re reading this thinking, “That’s me”—you’re not alone. And you’re not lost. You’re simply overdue for reconnection.
Here’s how to begin:
Journal: “When did I last feel truly alive—and what was I doing?”
Ask: “Where am I pretending?”
Choose: One value-based decision today. Just one.
Research shows that even one small action aligned with your values rewires your brain for fulfillment—not just relief.
You Don’t Need a Reinvention—You Need a Return
You don’t need to become someone new. You need to come home to the woman you were before life made you shrink.
She’s still there.
Not waiting for the perfect moment—just waiting for your permission to rise.
Ready to Find Her Again?
If you're ready to stop performing and start feeling like you again, let’s talk. Book a breakthrough session with me and let’s map out how to reconnect with your fire—without blowing up your life.